Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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