How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
