Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
