i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
