you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
