If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
