Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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