Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
