I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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