This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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