Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize