I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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