I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
