he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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