I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think a kid would responsible me up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
