Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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