I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
