Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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