My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
