So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
