did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He felt like a one man threesome
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
