the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
please come you make the beer taste better
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
