Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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