i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
