lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
