She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize