Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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