This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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