I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we're so committed to being not committed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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