Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
