i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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