I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
