Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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