At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
