know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
