Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
