if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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