Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
