Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
