i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
