in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize