i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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