ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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