he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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