I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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