week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
