How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
