and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
