Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
