I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
