i just wanna soil my oats bro
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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