my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The Olympian is in my bed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
