I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
