speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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