Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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