Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
