3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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