Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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