Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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