I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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