Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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