DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
