If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
