Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
