It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
